2013 is Special: My children turned 18, 15 and 12 this year when mama and abah both 45 with lil 5 YO going to kindy

2013 is Special (under construction - finalizing & editing)

Every year we celebrate birthdays privately, 4 months consecutively: from June til September
(June 11, July 23, August 6, Sept 6)
and the finale is our anniversary month, October 1. This is our 19th year of marriage 


This year is special. Extra special because everybody is entering another phases in life..All our 4 children are special in their own ways..none of them better than the other. They are who they are, making them just unique & special creations from our eyes.

This year, on August 6, Aliya, my first, turned 18. A grown up girl, young lady starting college, learning to be independent and responsible for herself. Perhaps getting more   more  supervision. The first grandchild to my parents, first female grandchild in my husband's side. I have to admit, we learned to improve our parenting skills from her. It was very conducive pregnancy period despite the terrible morning sickness with the support from my hubby, mom and dad. Mom is a directory 24/7. Mom is coaching me every single thing about preparation. Oh, I can still feel it,  being pampered by people around me. 4 months of terrible morning sickness and 18 hours of labor, all the pain was nothing once she came to the world. I think her habit of staying late probably has something to do with her being born at 3am in the morning.  Thank you Dr Habibah from PUSRAWI KL.
Being our first child is a challenge. as we too have our expectations and dreams. Life is almost perfect with her around. But all the uncertainties and unexpected things along the way, making all the ideals seemed far fetched.  Having her is definitely not an experiment but rather experiential in nature. Learning from all sources of information, from reading to seeking views from people especially my mom, who was there all the time, during my first 4 years of parenting. When she turned 18, I reflect on my days when I turned 18. Life is a wonderful thing to venture in. But having unconditional love from my loving parents is all I need at that moment, when trust and confidence in me become my strengths to move on in a strange land full of strangers. How important to be staying connected with them and sticking to our root as a young Muslim become the foundation of life. I remember every bit of her childhood moments.  Her loves for Barney has been contagious to all including all her young aunties who babysit her.   it is interesting how to watch her language acquisition. 
Having mom and dad speaking malay at home and her first few years with different language environment, she was not talking much at 2 years old. But once she started, she had all the coined words and created her own vocabulary. Kashoes (kasut and shoes), Atairs (upstairs & atas), Ayam seven for wings, ayam pokok for drummet, sayur pokok for brocolli etc. She talked to her uwan who babysat her in language no one can figure out.  Grandma would report, to day Aliya said, this and that and asked her to clarify. Among our favourite phrase from her: 
My mom said, I am not sure what she said today "Uwan, duke e dat"  (Look at that), 
or when asked where is mama, "mama gawak" (mama go work). Aliya nak balik Dewmington (bloomington).


July 23, Aina turned 15. I remember when I turned 15. Another phase of life. Another public exam PMR for her. Alhamdulillah, totally different way of doing things for her as I observed, her sense of getting academic excellence has improved compared to the laze-around, over confident, uncertain and lack focused, Aina when she was 12, taking UPSR taking everything for granted. But still, I know she can do better than this but she is still playful at times. Every year, jumped up from KRK4 to KRK3, KRK2 now she is in Terbilang, program. That scares me sometime, if she gets overly confident with the progress. This year, I have confirmed the necklace with my name on it that was my 15th birthday gift from my mom is hers. She has it on for the last few years and many have pointed out, why Niza not Aina. Hoping PMR will be her turning point to embark on another phase of life. InsyaAllah. Aina was born while mom is studying for her Master's Degree. She was in me when I had my commencement in 1998. I was a lady of leisure again waiting for her to be born. Getting ready to be home with all my loved ones in my home country. In less than 3 hours after my first 'not so painful contraction', I could smile holding her, breastfeeding her. The cool poker face male doctor from Bloomington Hospital. Thank you.


My only boy, Alif turned 12 today, Sept 6. Having a son after 2 girls, another joy to the family. He was conceived when I was just started my PhD. I had the luxury to plan my schedule just to spend time and play with him. I was not aware of the contractions pain (thot it was a tummy ache) and went for my weekly check up only that morning to find out, I was already 6-inches dilated. Dr Siti Aishah of Selangor Medical Centre (SMC) rushed me to the labor room. Sorry Doc, I didnt know. Alif was born around noon, zuhor time. And for the first time, decided to have a domestic helper in the house. Yes, he grew up together with me as I grew in my doctoral work. Raising him requires additional skills with a totally different perspective. Naturally, a very active boy, he was quite occupied with things all the time from one thing to another. He picked up a lot from his favorite playhouse disney channel. He wanted to be called abang even before Aula came into the picture. No matter how strange it might sound, we called him abang until he was 8, he became a real abang to Aula. But having baby sister he turned to be a big brother, excited with the newborn just like the rest of us in family. Smart but... His love for soccer takes away everything else in his life. Representing school for one match after another. In a few days, he will be sitting for UPSR. all the 5 series of trials. showed very inconsistent results. Deep down, I know he is smarter than this, but with his very minimal effort put on. Probably, much lessons to be learned so that he would stay on the ground.  

June 11, Aula turned 5. The little angel who came all of the sudden. A post-Phd baby most people called it. A pleasant surprise to everyone. Digging back all the old baby items to recycle. It felt like we were having our first baby all over again. But this pregnancy, I was not pampered like before. I had work to get done.  After my first trimester/ first few months of morning sickness, I picked up my energy and went all out to complete my tasks at work. With the post I was holding, I was everywhere. I was even at 3-day workshop 2 days before she was born.  Shorter labor like Alif and Aina, but she is a morning person, 4am woke me up feeling uneasy. She is 'the rise and shine' girl. greeted the world by 7 in the morning. Thank you Dr Delaila of SJMC.
Keeping life busy and alive with lil one in the house. Energy fuel to my parental role. Really kept us occupied. She grew up so fast. She picked up things faster as she was surrounded by grown up sibling and adults. ohh.. I miss her already. She was a very determined lil girl. She knows and confident with herself, what she likes what she doesnt. Making decision on where to go to school is not easy as she was adamant to choose. I lost my power and authority as a parent. We almost gave up on sending her to kindy. taking her to so many schools around in Shah Alam. Trying to be in school for a day or two, only to 'drop' herself out after a few days later. She preferred to stay home doing her drawings, coloring, having all her kindy activities at home on her own, singing and dancing, role  playing and even her own class setting. After 6 months of homeschooling, after her 5th birthday  I tried my luck again. No doubt, I too was quite fussy with how things are done at school. None seemed to to, at least, give me the assurance or confidence that will be able to give my daughter what I want as a preschooler starting new beginning. Not the syllabus but the environment, is my major concern, the fun she should adventure to start her school days. A memorable pleasant experience not too academic but more fun interactions with teachers and friends. So I took her for another tour to search for school. really tough decision as I had to do away from choosing Islamic Montessori  All her older siblings attending a very good Islamic Montessori  The good thing was, she said yes but I was still skeptical. Wondering if I forked out that much money, and later suddenly she called it quits. Today after almost 3 months, she is still going to school, alhamdulillah. 

At 45, we found without much planning, we are chosen to be among those millions to complete the 5th pillar of Islam. All the mixed feelings we have, slowly, taking our limited time to prepare to leave with hopes for changes in ourselves to be better Muslims. Alhamdullilah, May Allah ease our journey, and protect us all, our children and families, where ever we are while we are in this mission and also later, in life and life here-after.