I am the VIP of the journey
Prelude
I thought I was not prepared
The book is written to help people prepare for Haj journey.Who are we to say we are not ready. When it is fated and planned for us, There it is coming unexpectedly.
No Expectation
This journey was a gift - unplanned unexpected. It really came to us by surprise. Very much beyond expectation. That was the year we had Eid celebrated yearly at the Kulliyyah. Suhailah told me, her husband wanted to go for haj this year so she submitted the form. I heard and thought of it but deep down knew, it was not possible. But as I got back to the office, I thought of responding to the email inviting IIUM staff to apply for Haj trip that year. It was a normal busy days at the Department, I filled the form and requested my PA Ika to find time when she could send the form to the office of the mosque. It was passed over due. With the thought, they would put me in the queue: next year, the year after or whenever.
Not Just another phone call
Thu Sept 5th, 2013
Early in the morning, I was at the car park just arrived. I was so shocked and was not sure what I said. Wasn't sure at all. Was I ready? Should I take this offer? Do I have the money? My children? My son with his UPSR my 2nd daughter PT3, My 1st final Exam. My little girl? Ohh.. was never left home without me - not even a week.
Yes, sis, you are chosen! - could hear a lady's voice on the phone - like a wake up call to 'wake me up' I supposed.
"But I dont have sufficient fund in my account?"
"Then you must make sure RM10K in the account"
"But I am not sure whether I can go or not"
"you have to decide sis, many are waiting. If you reject, there are so many are in the waiting list"
"Ok Ok.. give me a week"
"No you must decide quick - we have less than a month" Gulping air in my throat. " What do I do now?"
I took out RM4K last year for the kenduri. I never deducted much from my paycheck since then.
Calm down! Told myself. immediately need to call my husband. Then Istigharah was the only one thing on my mind to help with the decision.
The phone call came in when least expected. I was not sure what/how to respond. My only question is, Are we ready and do we have the money? Smsing my hubby the news. I went thru day, attending all the meetings & hari raya gathering, with the idea of 'going or not going' at the back of my head. reached home with ample time to prepare for Solat hajat UPSR and yasin at Alif's school. dropped alif at SKRM.
Azman immediate response,
"No. Not this year. Next year insyaAllah, we can"
"Ok, let us do istigharah for 3 days."
Sending Azman at the airport for his 4 days work/business trip. Sending him off with the reminder to think about 'it' and make decision. It was late, had to send Aina& Aula at Nana's house before heading to Alif's school. Just in time for yasin recitation and do the rest til the end. Had dinner at Nana's. Then headed home with more thinking to do. I know I had to do the istigharah. I had to wake up for the solat to help me decide. Opportunity to do other solat as well for me to have a more peaceful mind. Yes I am giving myself till monday to decide. what's apping my siblings about the offer. All positive responses gotten.
Who are we to say we're not ready?
While Azman was out station in Johor Bharu. I called him that night.
Oh My Kids !!
I was not sure but not ready to say no. In my head, who would stay with my kids. I had no maid. My kids are in the middle of important exam. Alif had been taking series of trial exams. The results were not as expected. Teachers were'nt happy with him.I was warned about this. He needed my attention this time
First night i completed istigharah and Solat hajat. The next day, things went on as usual. I thought, it wouldn't happen. I had not enough cash to fill up the account with not just 10K but 20K. But I would check on the balance of our account anyway. Of course. Not enough but it was more than I thought. Azman had slightly more than mine. He deducted some while he worked with MIROS. So my next action was to look for cash in all accounts. If it was enough, it would be a good sign. In my heart, I knew. It was not possible.
Azman was still away. 2nd night, I just couldn't keep this to myself and had the urge to tell my mother-in-law. I know if mom and dad were around, I would have called them right away. So I did. got the green light from Azman, that I could call my Mother-in-law.
I told my mother-in-law. We were not sure. unprepared especially major concern was financial limitation. I promise her, I would inform her if decision otherwise.We would complete 3 nights of istigharah. The account was still insufficient.
3rd night, check on Azman. He said he did his istighrah and hajat. This will be the last one before I give my answer to IIUM person's in-charge.
That night, Mother-in-law called telling me, she had taken out the kain ihram (white clothes) of the late FiL and washed them. I was speechless. I had no decision yet. Talking to her, everything seemed so certain and positive.
She said, "Dont worry, no need to istigharah anymore. Just go, will find ways to get the money".
I couldnt say much. I know I had no source for this.
My KIDS without me?
gonna miss all the highlights in their lives.
Friday Sept 6th, 2013
It is Alif's birthday. It is going to be a busy friday with Azman not home to help. I just simply followed the flow. Sending Aula and Alif to school before going to Aina's report card. We were among the earliest ones waiting. Having breakfast with Aina, breakfast for two, sorting things out. decided to take a day off just to think. Once confirmed with my annual leave, I called my siblings to have lunch together. I was so fickle today about everything. about everything. even what to have for lunch. Dominos? nasi arab? or Ayam penyet? sending alif to the mosque for his friday solat. Aina was out for her group study and Alif SRA. Leaving me and Aula alone.
Went to PKNS, checking on all my saving and current accounts, withdrawing cash from my saving alhamdulillah, not sure if we would have enough, I check all the balance of my accounts. BIMB, RHB, Muamalat, Bank Rakyat, ASB. Strange but true. I found more cash that I expected in the account. Teaching claim, delayed training payment were in. Here and there.. a few thousands out. I was told about EPF that we could take out as well. But it was not possible to withdraw right away.
Surprise.. suprise. 10K each account
I pumped in both my Tabung Haji account and Azman's. I was pleasantly surprised to see, the amount was more than what i thought. In fact enough.
First stage is accomplished, at least, the accounts are ready. Now same questions, Can we be ready in short notice and do we have the money for other matters? Friday night, another Yasin and solat hajat PSRA/UPSR for Alif at his SRA al-Hijriah. Call Aliya, informing her the possibility.
Called Azman. all saving account emptied. Both our account filled up. two days ago I said, If I managed to get the account filled up with RM10K, it would be a good sign. At this moment, I only wait for Azman to say YES, definitely.
But what about other expenses? at home? kids expenses. My kids' caregiver babysitter? Our own expenses for 40 days away. Not making sense with almost zero balance in our account.
But my mind was saying that would be a way. I should say yes.
Saturday Sept 7th, 2013
Sending Alif to his finale math/science tuition with Puan Azimah in the morning with Aula. Had breakfast with Aula this time. breakfast for two.
Sunday Sept 8th, 2013
woke up 5.30am and Aula was awake too. so quite, so Aula on my chest, watching tv. Opportunity to ask and find out how much she knew about our plan. It turned out that Aina has told her about it.
Telling Aula about it, is not difficult after all. We talked about the five pillars of Islam - the kids's version. I told her that I am going to be away for 40 days and she will have Umi taking care of her and Hayfa to play with. She nodded understood.
Do you know why I need to go for Haj?
We are Muslim. All Muslim has to do 5 things:
1. Muslim must know Allah is our God, who creates us, mama, abah, aula and everything around us like sun, moon.
2. Solat 5 times a day
3. Fasting in Ramadhan, DO you know why we need to fast? To feel the hunger like people who have no food to eat. SOme people are so poor, they have no money to buy food.
4. Help the poor (zakat/sadakah) DO you know why need to give to the poor? So that they can have money to buy food, clothes and go to school.
5. last but not least, go for Haj. Everyone must do this if they have enough money. So I told her, we need to do the last one now that we have enough money. then I stopped there. She continue her nap.
YES means YES
My istigharah and solat hajat went on. I knew it if it was not meant for us, there would be hurdle. But if was the right decision, everything would be eased and smooth sailing.
Mental Preparation
Less than a month to the prepare. My mental preparation was zero. My main concern was that I didnt go to the Haj preparation course. Heard of people going every week for a few months.
A lot in my plate. My daughter in Alor Gajah was preparing for her final exam. The UPSR would happen in a few days for Alif. My class has just started. My boss needed to be told. My Head of Department's role needed a replacement. The Dean was surprised but happy for me. Many at work were taken by surprise with my unexpected decision.
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| UPSR Sept 10-12 (his bday month) |
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| Puan Sharifah Husna SKRM counselor |
It was almost certain.
I had tried asking my former maid to come and hope she would care enough to be with my kids while I was away. But she said No. I was sad. Later asked my sister with a small baby, if she could stay in Shah Alam and her hubby commute to work from my house. They said yes.. I was so grateful. Solat Syukur for such a blessing to have great support from siblings. Meanwhile two other siblings lived closed by in the same neighborhood.
I kept the practice of all the solat taubat, hajat, istigharah almost every night. I was doing it to overcome my fear of my unpreparedness in everything especially on the ibadah itself. All the mixed feelings of leaving my kids too long. It was hard to describe. I was so scared I would not able to perform the tasks accordingly as I did not get enough classes attended.
MY SEPTEMBER CALENDAR
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persidangan
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CISM
ALIF PSRA
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ALIF PSRA
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MEDC UIA closing
ALIF PSRA
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aina solat hajat yasin smks7
ALIF PSRA
ALIYA final exam
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WORK VS WORK
Monday Sept 9th 2013
It is the first week of class. Add and drop week. My work is never ending. Appointment with a student early in the morning. Students flocked in the office for my signatures for all kinds of reasons.
The briefing went on from 11-1.30pm. Things to do within the next few days. places to visits to get documents ready. Religious Department, Immigration Dept, Registration Department, BIMB( Draft), medical check up, the meningitis jab, influenza and pneumonia, tabung Haji, etc. the 3-day crash course, etc. Information to be digested and tasks to be completed in the next few days..Back in the office, talked to my boss.. alhamdullillah she gives us all her support. Another pleasant response. Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy and pray it will till the end. I am back home focusing on Alif. Only doa for him.
Getting the shots and met my doctor friend - Dr Zaini for tips to stay healthy during Haj
Haj short course attended
Attended one day briefing on the procedure.
Attended 2.5 days of Haj theory and Practical course at the mosque
Attended half a day free course at al Munawarah with Ustaz Ibrahim (Brother of US Asri Rabbani)
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| Great reflection: Touched by his words of wisdom and his powerful Doa |
Ustaz Hj Kamal -
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| Ustaz Hj Kamal - |
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| Rush to perform my duty as HoD - short speech for the delegates from SMKA Bugisiah Johor . |
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| alif and aula with us. Alif just finished his UPSR |
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| drawing: what else.. The Preparation began: |
Listings
Solat ready hijab/tudung
Jubah
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| this was so real ..
OCTOBER BEGINS....
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1 Tue
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Aina library, aula sekolah, take a day off breakfast with 85 gals at Empire,
Shop with ojie
subang parade/pkns, dinner kedai kopi
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Aina's PT3 - BM & PI,
uia ictem, frgs, Finalize the haj leave,
Meet the Dean, worked on the proposal for mental health Day with students,
settle Alif's application for SBP
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Aina's PT3: BI & Geog
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aula sekolah, alif sekolah, EPF,
tukar address tbg haji, tukar duit
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Was so busy with things but managed to get good buddy Ojie who volunteered to help me and accompany me to PKNS Shah Alam - everything is here! PT3 Aina is here. Just a day after our anniversary |
Her colorful notes
Faces of Straight As
Another visit to TH
spring cleaning the house before leaving. such a pleasant look when all are cleared.
PAGE - UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Will write more insyaAllah...
Tuesday Sept 10th -
Wednesday Sept 11th - Was at the table top exercise
Thu sept 12th
Friday Sept 13th
Sat Sept 14th JB ICEE - kajang
Sun Sept 15th PPG
Mon Sept 16 holiday - Munawarah US ghazali ibrahim
Tue sept 17 BAKA persidangan & UIA ?
Wed Sept 18
Thu sept 19
Friday sept 20 -
Saturday sept 21 - kursus haji opening SMK Bugisiah & Aula open day
Sunday sept 22 - kursus haji & gombak Mus house
CISM workshop not to be missed
Mon Sept 23 traffic jam opening MEDC CISM ALIF PSRA
tues sept 24 CISM & UIA class replacement ALIF PSRA
Wed sept 25 CISM & UIA closing ALIF PSRA
Thu- sept 26 last day CISM - aina solat hajat yasin smks7 ALIF PSRA ALIYA final exam
Friday Sept 27th OIC conference farewell K yan & haj people.replacement
Sat Sept 28 Not well migraine - cook and after maghrib to lendu
Sun Sept 29 wedding kenduri Jeram K nren
Mon sept 30 JPW, Dept meeting clean the room with atiqah and CT
Tue Oct 1 aina library, aula sekolah, cuti breakfast with 85 gals empire, shop with ojie subang parade/pkns, dinner kedai kopi
Wed Oct 2nd - Aina BM & PI, uia ictem, frgs, ambik cuti, meet dean, prop mental health, SBP Alif
Thu Oct 3rd Thu - EPF withraws, Tabung haji, MARA aina BI & Geog
Fri Oct 4th - aula sekolah, alif sekolah, EPF, tukar address tbg haji, tukar duit ke
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